


Finding Refuge

by whiteraven1606



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Asexuality, Established Relationship, M/M, Marking, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-16
Updated: 2012-04-16
Packaged: 2017-11-03 19:37:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/385109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteraven1606/pseuds/whiteraven1606
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce tries to help Tony heal.</p>
<p>**The non-con happens before the start of the story and off-screen. This is an aftermath/recovery story.**</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Refuge

Bruce had slowly gotten used to the causal touching and Tony’s need to kiss until Bruce couldn’t breathe. He loved the intimacy of cuddling on the rare occasions when they were in the same bed at the same time. He had even learned to put up with Tony’s innuendos.

In turn, Tony had gotten used to not going further than kissing most of the time. He gave Bruce the freedom to touch without making it about sexual release. He’d even just started letting Bruce near him in the shower. 

Bruce knew Tony still had problems with pools of water or turning his face up into the spray of the shower. It all reminded Tony of being questioned while being held captive.

Bruce thought their relationship had been going very well. Then Bruce had gone out as Batman, leaving Tony to go to a fundraising party alone. He hadn’t worried because Tony had been cutting back on the drinking and was being trailed by his normal bodyguard. He figured it’d be like any other fundraiser.

Except Alfred was waiting with a grim expression when he’d pulled into the Batcave. He pushed the cowl off his head as he soon as he was out of the Batmobile. 

“What is it, Alfred?”

Alfred frowned and looked up at the ceiling before stepping toward him. “There’s been an incident, sir.”

He nodded as he started to shed the rest of the gear. “How bad?” Tony had probably tried to buy a building or insulted Bruce while he wasn’t there to banter back and someone had taken offence.

Alfred touched his forearm. “Sir.”

Bruce stilled. Alfred’s tone of voice wasn’t good. At all. “Just tell me.”

“Master Stark has been injured.”

Bruce closed his eyes. “The Avengers called him in?” He hadn’t heard anything on Iron Man’s channel, but then sometimes Tony blacked him out so he wouldn’t worry.

“Not Iron Man, sir.”

Bruce’s eyes popped open. “Alfred?”

“Master Stark was...injured. He is currently refusing medical treatment and has barricaded himself in the master bathroom, sir.” 

He didn’t like the pause or the inflection Alfred put into saying injured. Bruce started to pick up the gauntlet he’d just taken off and then stopped. “Injured? How exactly?”

“Perhaps it would be better for Master Stark to explain, sir.”

Bruce nodded and quickly got out of the rest of his armor. It had a different weight to it again. He’d have to ask Tony what he’d done to it this time. Later though. He bounded up the stairs to the elevator. “Tony say anything?”

“He admitted his head was pounding and he didn’t like Gotham’s parties without you there, sir.”

Bruce winched. He should have gone. He shook his head. It was too late to worry about that now. “Do we have any of Tony’s comfortable clothes here or they still all in Malibu?”

They’d been going back and forth lately as Tony tried to work out how he was going to manage the Avengers, Bruce, and still have time for himself.

Alfred followed him into the elevator. “I have provided him with clean clothing just outside of the bathroom door. He has not accepted it as of yet, sir.”

Bruce nodded and slipped out of the elevator into his house. He didn’t run because it wouldn’t help, but he wanted to very badly. He stopped in front of the closed bathroom door and stared down at the neatly folded sweats. He knocked softly. “Tony?”

There was a shifting noise and the door moved slightly. “Yeah. What?”

Bruce crouched down. “May I come in?”

There was a sigh and then Tony flipped the lock on the door. Bruce scooped up the clothing and slipped inside the bathroom. Tony had retreated across the bathroom to wedge himself between the counter and the other door that lead to the walk-in closet. Bruce settled on the floor near the door and pushed the clothing towards Tony across the floor.

Tony blinked at him and Bruce blinked back.

“Aren’t you going to tell me how stupid it was to let someone hand me a drink I didn’t see opened?”

Bruce hadn’t known that. Not that it mattered now. He shrugged. “No. Drugs could have been in the glass and seeing the drink opened wouldn’t have helped.”

Tony huffed and slid down the corner he’d put himself into. “It hurt a lot more than it should have.” He scrubbed a hand over his spiked up hair. “They used condoms.”

Bruce didn’t have any idea what to do or how to help. “You want to change out of your suit?”

Tony looked down at his rumpled suit. “Why aren’t you mad at me?”

If he could get ahold of every one in Tony’s past he’d have a field day with the amount of shouting he’d do. “There isn’t anything you’ve done that I’m mad about.”

Tony snorted. “I got drugged, lured away from my babysitters, and raped. What isn’t there to be mad at me about?”

Bruce nudged the clothes towards Tony with his foot. “Still not mad at you. Want these? I’m going to go down the hall and shower. I smell like the underbelly of Gotham.”

“The smudges under your eyes look really weird without the cowl on.”

Bruce smiled at him and moved slowly to stand so Tony wouldn’t flinch. “I’ll knock...”

“No.” Tony froze mid-reach. “Sorry. Right. Go on.” He pulled back into himself.

“Tony.” Bruce edged closer. “I...I could stay?” 

Tony breathed slowly, his hand curled around the arc reactor. “I don’t need protection in here.”

“What about a friend?”

Tony took another gasp of a breath and looked up at him. “Friend.”

Bruce nodded. “We’re friends too. Besides everything else.”

Tony curled tighter into the corner. “Shower here. Don’t...don’t touch me or flash me, but here. Bruce... Please.” 

Bruce nodded. “Sure, Tony.” He pushed the clothing closer with his foot and took his robe and towel from their normal hooks. He stepped into the shower and hung the items to stay dry in the corner that didn’t get wet. He shrugged out of the under layer of armor. “The weight of my armor changed again.”

“Yeah?” Tony’s voice was shaky, but close to the right volume. “How’d that work out?”

“The elbow armor is too light now.” He turned the spray on and checked it was warming up. “I liked the area around the ribs, though.”

“I could make the elbows like that.”

“I need to jab with the elbows.” Bruce sighed as he stood under the hot water. “How many?”

“Three.” Tony’s voice sounded closer, but Bruce didn’t say anything about it. “How can you stand water in your face?”

“I didn’t get tortured with it. It doesn’t make me have nightmares.”

“It hurt.”

Bruce leaned his forehead against the shower wall. “I’m sorry.”

There was a bang noise that made Bruce jump. “Don’t be sorry.” Tony’s voice was against the stall door, but Bruce didn’t turn his head.

“You need to shower?”

Tony splayed his hand on the shower’s frosted wall. Bruce looked at the shadowy outline of him from the corner of his eye. “No. I got cleaned up. Just lube and...I broke a nose.”

“Not yours.” Bruce pushed away from the wall and watched the shadowy form of Tony retreat.

Tony laughed, it broke, and he made a choking noise. “Not me. The second one thought I’d go again. The drug was finally wearing off and I could move somewhat.”

Bruce used the towel and wrapped the robe around himself before opening the shower door. “You need anything?”

Tony shrugged and backed against the wall behind him. He blinked and looked at the wall over his shoulder when he touched it. “No...I don’t know. I want to put them in the cave in Afghanistan, but I wouldn’t want that for anyone.” 

“I could kill them.” Bruce knew they were probably already taken care of, but it was an offer Bruce could at least make. He kept his hands at his sides. He felt the need to touch, but right now it won’t be...accepted. 

With a snort, Tony shoved himself away from the wall and grabbed up the clothes Bruce had left for him. “Out. Wait in the hallway?”

Bruce gave a closed-mouth smile and nodded. “I’ll be sitting about four feet out into the room on the floor.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “There is a perfectly good bed out there. Lay down and...” He went still.

Bruce forced himself not to move forward.

“You know what? Nevermind.” Tony smiled his wide, fake, for-the-press smile. “The floor will be great.”

Bruce backed out of the bathroom and listened to the lock click. Alfred appeared at his elbow. They both listened as there was a crash, which made Bruce wince, and then sobbing.

“Alfred, call Pepper and see if there’s a doctor he’ll let near him.” Bruce turned and started pulling the duvet off the bed.

“Mistress Potts has a doctor enroute, sir. May I help you?”

Bruce stopped and turned to Alfred. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Alfred stepped closer and eyed the bed. “Pulling apart my hospital corners, sir?”

He grimaced and then leaned his head on Alfred’s shoulder when he come closer. “I never touch him enough and now what do I do, Alfred?”

Alfred pulled him closer and pried the duvet gently from his hand. “You’ll sit down or lay down wherever you told Master Stark you would be and allow me to rearrange the bedding for tonight.”

Bruce straightened up. “Thanks, Alfred.” He counted off paces from the bathroom door and settled cross-legged on the floor, back against the wall. He turned his head to watch Alfred strip the bed and move everything into the outer room of the master suite. He turned back as the lock clicked in the door. He made sure he kept breathing, counting his breaths as he waited for Tony to open the door.

Tony pulled the door open an inch and then stopped for several moments before he pulled the door all the way open. The arc reactor glowed softly through the thin t-shirt. “Hey.”

Bruce smiled up at him. “Hello.” He rolled up onto his knees and waited there for Tony to come closer. He pointed at Tony’s bare feet. “Would you like socks?”

Tony blinked and looked down at his feet. “No?” He stared at the striped mattress. “No socks. Why is the bed bare?”

Alfred appeared in the doorway. “Master Wayne has decided he would like a pillow fort for the night, Master Stark. The finishing touches are applied, sir.”

Tony watched Alfred disappear and then turned to look at Bruce. “Pillow fort?”

Bruce pushed on up until he was standing. “Alfred’s idea.” He went ahead because he understood Tony probably didn’t want anyone behind him right now. He caught sight of the pillow fort and stared. 

Alfred had pulled together several of the oldest wooden chairs from at least three different rooms and an old looking quilt was spread over their backs to make the roof of the fort. There were even little clips holding the quilt in place. Under that mounds of pillows, more than Bruce thought were in the entire mansion, were sprawled across their normal duvet from the bed. Bruce knelt at the edge of it all and could see more pillows mounded against the back side of the ‘fort’, towards the back wall.

Tony fingered the edge of the quilt. “This is a pillow fort?”

Bruce crawled under the quilt and sprawled so he wasn’t crowding the back area. The way the chairs were set left just enough room for Tony to squeeze past them into the corner without crawling under. Tony settled himself into the corner with pillows around him, under and over.

Bruce stuffed a pillow under his own chest to better prop himself up. “This is a pillow fort. We could ask Alfred for milk and cookies.” He waggled his eyebrows so that Tony would know he wasn’t being serious.

Tony smirked and rubbed the heel of his hand across the arc reactor. “He’d make gingerbread. I hate that.”

“Peanut butter cookies for your crumb spreading pleasure, sirs.” Alfred sat a plate on the chair seat closest to Bruce’s head and handed down the protein drink that would help him stay awake for a while longer. Well, maybe. It had been a hard night. A glass of milk appeared beside the plate of cookies and Alfred retreated again.

“He’s worried.”

Tony looked up from the cookie he was turning over and over. “What?”

“Alfred.” Bruce put the now empty glass up on the chair seat where Alfred wouldn’t have to bend over so far to reach it. He eyed the peanut butter cookies, which he knew where the sort Tony would always pick first when he had a choice of cookies. “He’s worried about you so he’s hovering.”

Blinking, Tony sat the cookie back down. “He should be asleep.” He looked at the curtain covered windows. “You should be asleep.”

“I’ll sleep in a while. When you feel more safe.” Bruce wasn’t sure he should mention it, but Tony wasn’t stupid, he knew what hyper-alertness was. Bruce had listened to Pepper scolding him for it in the past.

Tony hugged a pillow to himself. “I don’t feel safe. I should, I mean, I’m sitting here with Batman. With God knows how many of the Avengers on their way to Gotham. I just...” He purposely slowed his breathing. “I feel them on me still.”

Bruce nudged another pillow closer and watched Tony add it to his layer of pillow armor. “It’ll fade. You’ve had pathom sensations before.”

Tony sneered and pulled his pillows tighter around himself. “Yeah, and I usually drown it out with better sensations. I can’t do that with this. I can’t ask you to do things that feel just as bad to you as that felt...” He buried his head in the pillow he held in front of himself. “Please tell me I’ve never made you do anything you didn’t want.” 

Before Bruce could open his mouth Tony barrelled on.

“Please say that I stopped fast enough when we were testing what you liked and didn’t like. You didn’t ever just let me do something to you or make you do something, did I?” Tony peeked over the edge of his pillow with a terrible crushed expression. Like he was expecting Bruce to tell him he’d broken every rule they had.

Bruce pushed the pillow guarding Tony’s closer shin tight to Tony’s leg. “You never did anything wrong with me, Tony. We experimented and yes, I asked you to stop sometimes, which you always did. Always, Tony. You never hurt me.” Bruce tilted his head so Tony had to look at him or move again. “Never, Tony.”

Tony drew a shuddering breath. “Thanks for that.” He smiled. “Is there room under there for a broken billionaire?”

Bruce scooted back. “You aren’t any more broken than I am. Come in when you’re ready.”

Tony nodded. “When the doctor goes away. Alright?” He pushed the pillow in front of his face down. “Can we not touch once I’m under there?”

Bruce wrapped his hands into a pillowcase. “Anything for you.”

Tony grinned. “Totally whipped.”

He smiled back and listened for Alfred’s footsteps. “I know.”

****

Tony crawled into the pillow fort after kicking the doctor out. Alfred had frowned about that as he’d cleared away the cookies, but Tony wasn’t going to the hospital. He’d never passed out and it was over. He’d not even been able to throw up, which sort of sucked, just this once. He rubbed at the edge of the arc reactor where it was aching.

Bruce had succumbed to exhaustion about ten minutes into the boring questions from the doctor. Tony brushed Bruce’s hair back out of his face. He snacted his hand back. It wasn’t good how badly he was shaking.

He listened to Alfred fending off the Avengers downstairs. He ought to get up and go let them fuss so they’d not poke around and find Bat-related things they weren’t supposed to know about. Tony just couldn’t. He didn’t want to see them or...touch. Jeez. He really hoped Bruce hadn’t been lying when he said Tony hadn’t hurt him. 

The mere thought of Bruce feeling this crawling bug across the skin thing was enough to make Tony want to punch a wall. Everything sucked. Tony drummed his thumbs on the arc reactor through his borrowed shirt. He couldn’t let this destroy him. Pepper would know how they’d need to spin it to make someone make a law that would actually help stop this from happening to others.

If it meant he had to go on record about how he felt right now, well, he’d done worse voluntarily. Usually very drunk, but still. Tony reached for Bruce again and stopped himself. He’d never take advantage again. Ever.

Bruce made a noise in his sleep and his hands twisted inside the pillowcase he’d put them in. Tony soothed the wrinkle in the fabric covering his wrists. 

“I didn’t get it, you know? I didn’t really understand how you never wanted _sex_. I mean, it’s sex. Great stuff.” He pulled back and rolled onto his back, he scooted closer to Bruce’s warmth. He was so cold, even with the extra blanket. “Normally at least. I never tried to push you, but I touched you way more than you wanted. I like touching.” He snorted. “Well, not right now, I feel like I’m going to infect you with this horrible feeling that’s crawling along under my skin.”

Tony lolled his head so his hair touched the pillowcase around Bruce’s hands. “I never had a pillow fort when I was a kid. The nannies thought it would spoil me, I imagine. It bothers you, I know it does, that I never had a friend before MIT.” 

He stared at the quilt over their heads and listened to Bruce snore. “I had to force myself to met your eyes. You’d never hurt me unless the suit was going haywire or I went crazy or something really stupid. And I had to make my eyes stay up.”

He reached up and poked the quilt. “Me. I’m Tony Stark. I don’t lower my eyes to anyone. Except Pepper. And maybe Alfred on occasion. And Agent Coulson, but don’t let him catch on.” Tony rolled onto his side as the bruises on the back of his thighs started to ache more. “And you are never going to hear all this because I’m terrified.”

“If I might be of assistance, sir. I have recorded the conversation should you like Mr. Wayne to hear it at a later date.”

Tony flinched and stared at the quilt ceiling. “JARVIS?” He turned his head to stare at Bruce’s sleeping face. “What are you doing here?”

“Mr. Wayne allowed me to install myself for your new workshop. I believe he meant to surprise you, sir.”

“Huh.” Tony blinked as his sore eyes started to water again. “Okay, don’t tell him I know you are here so he can still surprise me, but offer him the recording when he’s alone.” He turned to look up at the quilt again. “Please, JARVIS.”

“That will not be a problem, sir. Good night.”

“Thanks, JARVIS.” Tony could feel the blankets finally doing their jobs and warming him up. He fell asleep in slow fits and starts.

****

Bruce woke up alone, but then he’d not been expecting Tony to be snuggled into him like normal. He crawled out of the pillow fort and headed for the bathroom. He stopped short of the door. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, Mr. Wayne?”

He sighed. He never gotten the AI to agree to call him anything else. “Is Tony in the bathroom?”

“Indeed. He has been in the bath for nineteen minutes. He appears to be attempting to force himself to shower, sir.” There was a pause and then JARVIS’s voice started back up. “He also spoke to you while you were asleep, sir. Would you like to listen?”

Bruce rubbed the stubble on his jaw and yawned. “Let me go down the hall.” He didn’t want to startle Tony and he knew the shower was difficult at the best of times. Bruce used one of the other bathrooms and listened to the audio file in his study.

He ruffled his hair with his hand. “Damn.” 

Alfred appeared with the morning paper and coffee. “The Avengers are here again, sir.”

Bruce closed his eyes and sighed. “Tell them he’s not up to seeing anyone. But pull Steve aside, so I can talk to him.”

“Very good, sir.”

Five minutes later he and Steve were having a stare down in his library. Steve pressed his lips together and finally backed down.

“We just want to help him.”

Bruce flopped into the nearest chair. “I understand that, but he’s not up to a lot of people right now. His skin is crawling when he’s in the same room as more than two people.”

Steve blinked and sank into the chair across from Bruce. “They won’t let me near the ones who hurt him.” Steve balled his hands into fists.

Bruce nodded. He understood the need to break someone’s face. “They are probably worried you’ll break them in half.”

“I’d like to.” Steve sighed. “The future isn’t always as good as I had hoped it would turn out.”

“Did anyone show you the Internet, yet?”

Steve grinned. “Tony did. He set the browser to warn me if I was doing something illegal.” Steve blushed. “He’d bookmarked pages for me.”

Bruce snorted. “Mostly porn I take it?”

“No.” Steve shook his head. “Pages on everyone I knew, one with timelines that told me what the world had done. One for the moon landing. Another for the various wars.”

Bruce nodded and waited.

“Well, and another row for the porn.”

He grinned. “Tony didn’t let you go through them alone, did he?”

Steve shook his head. “He helped.” Steve ducked his head. “Not with the porn.”

“He is holed up in my bathroom right now.”

Steve frowned. “He doesn’t like tubs of water.”

“He doesn’t like showers either. Did anyone tell you how he became Iron Man?”

With a shrug, Steve got up and started looking at the shelves of books. “He was held captive.”

“One of the things that sometimes happens to captives is a type of water torture.”

Steve turned and looked at him. “He worries about you.”

Bruce blinked, derailed from trying to explain how Steve would need to watch over Tony when he went back to the Avengers Mansion. “What?”

“He talks about you a lot. He worries about your hobbies and making you better climbing gear.” Steve cocked his head. “You don’t climb, do you?”

Bruce lifted his chin. “That is one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. While Iron Man isn’t feeling up to the field I thought you might like an extra hand.”

“Yours?”

“Batman’s.”

Going still, Steve blinked and slowly looked around the library before finally settling on the chair to Bruce’s left. “Tony insists that Batman isn’t a team player.”

“He could be one for the time Tony needs.”

Steve nodded. “Tony will feel like I’m not confident he can be on the team at all if I tell him he’s grounded.”

“I’ll deal with that.” He nodded towards the door. “Take everyone into the study. I’ll show you downstairs as soon as I explain to Tony.”

Steve stared at him. “Thank you.” He stood and Bruce stood as well. They shook hands. “Batman.”

“Captain America.”

Steve grinned. “Tony’s fetish for black armor jokes make much better sense now.”

Bruce just shook his head and smiled.

****

Bruce went back upstairs to find Tony huddled under the quilt in the pillow fort with tear tracks down his cheeks. “Hey.”

Tony wiped his cheeks listlessly. “Hi.”

Bruce settled at the edge of the pillows and peered under the edge of the hanging quilt. “You get a shower?”

Tony shook his head and fresh tears ran down his cheeks. “I couldn’t. I mean, sure I could, but I tried and I was terrified. There are people in the house. And it doesn’t seem to matter I know them and they’d never hurt me while I was naked and showering, but I couldn’t!”

Bruce nodded. “Alright. If they are in the Batcave is that out of the house enough for you?”

“What!?” Tony bolted forward and snagged Bruce’s shirt in one hand. “What the hell are you thinking? You can’t let them know.”

Bruce pulled at Tony’s hand gently. “Yes, Tony, I can. I’m going to ask that you get time to break in the new workshop I had put in. While you are busy making my armor better I’m going to try to figure out how to be a team player.”

“Wait. I get to stay in and play while you deal with my crazy teammates?”

“Only for a little while and then you, in whatever new armor you made yourself after you’ve gotten bored of mine, will go fight with them.”

Tony stared and him so Bruce stared back. Tony’s eyes were slightly downcast. Bruce touched the back of Tony’s hand.

“You are too important to lose because you are having a normal reaction to an attack on you. You’re human, Tony.”

“I can’t look at you.”

Bruce nodded. “I know, but it will get better. And you’ll quit feeling like you feel right now.”

“When? Why can’t it be right now?” Tony pulled a pillow closer. “I want it to be better now.”

Bruce gently tugged on the pillow. “Soon. Come on. What if I guard the door for you? I could put on my armor.”

Tony snorted. “Batman saves the day by playing babysitter for a terrified billionaire that can’t face some water raining down on him.”

“If that’s what the billionaire needs to be able to face the evil raining water, then that’s what he’ll get.”

Tony pushed Bruce back with a pillow and made his way out of the pillow fort. “The pillows all smell different this morning.”

“Alfred probably changed them while you were in the bathroom.”

“No one has this many pillows, Bruce. Not even me.”

“I think our net worths are fairly close, you know.”

“Hah. You wish.” Tony stopped in the doorway of the bathroom. “Can you leave this door open and close the other door?”

“Of course.” Bruce pushed the suite’s double doors closed and padded back to the bathroom. Bruce settled across the threshold and pulled his emergency knife from the belt he was wearing. “This work?”

“Maybe.” Tony glanced around the bathroom. “Why couldn’t they have picked something else to torture me with?”

“Cheap and nasty. It works.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah.” He moved further into the bathroom and went around the corner. Bruce settled his spine against the bathroom door jam, just as Tony’s head reappeared. “You can talk to me, you know.”

Bruce got what Tony meant, what he needed. “Sure. I know.” He waited for Tony to disappear again. “I burned the house down to save my party guests from the evil guy that doomed the Narrows. He was going to do that to everyone in Gotham.”

Tony made a rude noise and turned on the shower. “He was stupid.”

“I let him die.” Bruce closed his eyes to be able to concentrate better on listening to Tony’s movements. “He had taught me things I use every night as Batman, but he was evil and I didn’t try to save him.”

Tony hesitation at the edge of the shower made Bruce wish he could have helped blow up the caves that Tony had been held in. 

“Then I had to let everyone think Batman was evil to save the image of a good man to keep everything from falling apart. It didn’t work in the long run though. Cops have this way of telling the truth no matter what they’ve been told to say. A few had known Harvey was vastly changed by thinking I hadn’t gone after Rachael.”

“You did though, you went where he’d told you Rachael would be. That he lied wasn’t your fault.” Tony’s voice sounded like it was coming from the shower.

“I should have been able to figure it out.”

“With what? Fancy scanning equipment that you didn’t have at the time?” Tony’s voice changed and the water shut off. “I can’t go any longer.”

Bruce pulled his legs underneath himself. “No problem, Tony. If you need to rinse you can use a washcloth and the sink.”

Tony appeared around the corner in sweats, wrapped in his and Tony’s robes over top of each other. “No, I’m good.”

Bruce got out of the doorway. “You did great, Tony.”

Tony snorted. “Now I know what I must sound like to you when I try to push you.”

“Not the same thing, Tony.”

“Hah. I’ve been trying to convince you to go against your body’s wants and that’s totally the same thing.”

With a sigh, Bruce followed Tony back to the pillow fort. “We’re partners, Tony. We work around each other’s strengths and weaknesses. You’ve never made me go against anything.” He knelt on a pillow and reached in to adjust the cover Tony had pulled over himself. “You touch more than I would on my own, but it isn’t bad. You’ve never insisted we fuck or tried to make me give you a blow job.”

Tony winced. “I thought about it.”

“You looked up asexualility, didn’t you?”

“About three minutes after you told me, yeah.”

Bruce beamed at him. “You looked it up. You made the choice to learn, and if you don’t quit comparing yourself to the men that attacked you, I will knock you out myself.”

“Oh.” Tony blinked and then smiled. “Alright.”

****

Bruce led the Avengers out of the back of the mansion and down to the outer entrance into the Batcave. He knew they’d have the layout in relation to the house figured out fairly quickly, but at least they’d know which entrance he’d prefer they use.

They were nice enough to not wander too far. Well, the two humans were climbing in the scaffolding that went up beside the elevator and Thor was _talking_ to the bats, but for the most part they were better about it than he would have thought.

Steve stared at his piled armor that neither he nor Alfred had gotten around to straightening out since...then. Steve tilted his head as he peered up at the two climbing.

“Come back down. We’re trying to be nice.”

Branner snorted. “You should have told them they were undercover if you wanted them to be ‘nice’, Steve.”

Steve sighed and gave Bruce a half-shrug. “Some things I can’t command out of them.”

Bruce grinned because he knew ‘some things’ was actually practically everything when it came to Tony. “They’re fine.”

Thor landed lightly beside them with a bat cupped in his hand. “They say they are pleased you have ceased to be terrified of them.”

Blinking, Bruce turned and raised an eyebrow to the rest of them.

The human man who’d be climbing, Clint, dropped to land between him and Thor causing the bat to fly. “No one wants to hear what the bats have to say.”

Thor frowned and then settled against the work table behind him. “It seemed a topic more safe for conversation than most.”

Branner rolled his eyes. “Thor, we’re the Avengers standing in Batman’s lair with Iron Man holed up in a mansion above our heads refusing to talk to any of us. Safe isn’t on the menu today.”

“Tony is going to push himself too hard,” Natasha said. 

Bruce glanced up to see Natasha, the redhead Tony said never to piss off, hanging upside down from the elevator’s scaffolding watching them. “Yes, he is. Which we’re going to minimise as much as can be done. I’ll help the Avengers while Iron Man isn’t available, but I can’t have all of you chasing around Gotham.”

Steve nodded. “It’d just bring the city more trouble.”

Branner scratched his head. “You going to commute? That’ll going to be difficult.”

“I’m going to make him take a vacation in New York,” a voice said from behind them. 

Bruce internally winched as they all turned to face Tony standing in the doorway of the elevator. Bruce had known making the thing silent was going to come back on him just like this. “I don’t take vacations.”

“Yeah, I know.” Tony was ashen and leaning just a little too hard into the elevator’s wall. “You could stay at the Avengers’ mansion and come back to Gotham on off days.”

Everyone seemed frozen around them, but Bruce wasn’t concerned about them. They had no idea what to do with Tony any more than he did at the moment. “It could work if there were no set patterns to the nights I was in Gotham.”

“Good. That’s settled then.” Tony looked around, all but ignoring the Avengers. “I was promised a workshop.”

Bruce smiled slightly and pointed down the stairs to the right of the elevator, away from their group of people. “JARVIS talked to you, I take it.”

Tony edged that way without turning his back on anyone. “He said you wanted to make it a surprise.”

Bruce purposefully didn’t glance up at Natasha over Tony’s head as he moved forward to put himself between the others and Tony. “I did. I had JARVIS key the door so only you, Alfred, or I can get in by default, but I’m sure you’ll change that to suit you.”

Tony took a shuddery breath and all but fled down the stairs to his new workshop. The door sealed itself with a hiss.

Bruce stared at it as the sound of shifting feet came from behind him.

Clint voice was all forced cheer. “Well, that could have gone worse.” 

****

Bruce sat on the steps leading down to Tony’s workshop. He and the Avengers had worked out a tentative schedule for him to be in New York barring emergencies there or in Gotham. Clint held out a cup of coffee to him and then sat on the next step up.

“He’s stronger than most give him credit for.” Clint took a sip of his own coffee.

“Yes.” Bruce smelled the cup and sat it down beside himself. It wouldn’t help his empty stomach. 

Clint held out a granola bar. “Here. Eat. You aren’t any good if he has to worry more about you.”

“Thanks.” He turned his head to see Clint watching Tony’s workshop door with a frown. “Why did you stay? Tony would have bet on Steve.”

Clint grinned. “Steve was worried he’d scare Stark. Since he’s extra strong and all.”

Bruce swallowed the bite he was chewing. “And your actual reason?”

With a snort, Clint slid down to the step Bruce was on. “I’m not someone he worries about impressing all the time. He knows I know he’s human under all that bluster and fancy tailoring.”

“You’ve seen him in a panic attack before.”

Clint blinked and raised an eyebrow. “That’s a leap.”

Bruce shrugged and took a sip of coffee. “He might have mentioned it.”

“Hmm.” Clint gestured to the door. “You haven’t tried going in.”

“I want him to feel like he has a place all of his own. I can’t do that if the first thing I do is barge there.”

“Ever think he’s waiting for you to do just that?”

****

Tony sat on the floor under his new work bench and missed the pillow fort. He’d just ignored them all. He wasn’t even sure why exactly. He knew they were his teammates, so talking to them shouldn’t be hard, but he’d just...not.

He’d come down the elevator from Bruce’s study with the intention of telling them all he was fine and didn’t need Batman to fill in for Iron Man, but then he’d just sort of froze up. He’d been about to open his mouth to joke about Natasha being above them all, but it had died on his tongue as his body tensed up.

He’d barely been able to focus on Bruce long enough to retreat into his shiny new workshop. He’d revoked all access and minutes later reinstated it for Bruce. He’d wandered the workshop looking at everything before he’d reinstated Alfred and added Pepper. 

He checked for video feeds and was pleased he could see outside of his workshop. He’d sat and listened as the Avengers and Batman hashed out plans. He should be out there helping. He leaned forward as his breathing went wild. Okay, not right now. Later. He’d help later.

He settled into watching Bruce on the feed and when Clint came to sit with him as they waited on Tony made him smile. Clint hadn’t ever given him crap for finding Tony curled up, shivering, in the bottom of his bathtub once. Tony still wasn’t sure how Clint had known to come looking there for him, but Tony hadn’t cared at the time because it had meant the water was turned off.

Tony straightened. He already had one phobia, he didn’t need another one. He’d just have to get back into the swing of touching people again. Tony pushed himself off the floor and headed for the door.

****

Bruce wanted to frown as he watched Tony greet them with a too wide smile and a hand clap on Clint’s shoulder. Clint made a face at Bruce behind Tony’s back and Bruce nodded. They made it into the elevator before Tony’s mask cracked and he pressed himself into the corner by the controls.

Clint backed up until he was in the opposite corner and Bruce put himself along one wall.

“Tony?”

Tony curled his hand over the arc reactor glowing faintly through his shirt. “I’m fine.”

Clint nodded. “Okay.” He kept his hands still, flattened against the elevator walls as the door opened into the tiny pocket room that lead to the study. “We could go first.”

Tony shoved himself away from his corner and hurried out into the study. “I’m fine.”

Bruce sighed as he followed Clint out. “That could have gone better.”

“Went pretty well, I thought.” Clint tapped a key on the piano. “He came out on his own, didn’t attack either of us in the enclosed space, and didn’t hurt himself. I’d count it a win.”

“Alright.” Bruce left Clint there to go see if Tony had retreated into the pillow fort. He blinked at the outer room of his bedroom. There were a few stray pillows, but no chairs or quilt. Frowning he went through into the bedroom itself and stopped in the doorway. 

The pillow fort had been recreated in the space between the bed and the wall. It extended the length of the bed and had a tiny space at the end of the quilt canopy at the head of the bed. The bed itself had been remade.

Bruce lay on the bed and peered down into the pillow fort through the open end at the head of the bed. “You need anything?”

Tony pulled the pillow on his face down to cover his throat. “I liked the workshop.”

Bruce smiled. “I’m glad.”

“I can’t stop thinking about them. Or about how I kept pushing at you.”

“They aren’t linked, not even remotely the same” Bruce hung his arm over the side and let a fingertip brush Tony’s bare shoulder. “I just don’t have the desire you do. That’s all. I’m a grown man and am fully capable of telling you off, Tony. Quit worrying about it.”

“I ignored my team.” Tony shifted so Bruce’s fingertip didn’t reach him. “I wanted to talk to them, but then it was suddenly so hard. I’m so tired.”

Bruce started to pull his arm back until Tony grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled it back down. “Sleep if you are tired, Tony. And they understand. Clint stayed to help you feel more safe without having the whole group underfoot.”

Tony yawned. “Is it okay that I’m not worried about infecting him with the horrible skin feeling?”

“Perfectly okay, Tony.”

“I don’t know why.” Tony’s voice grew more plaintive. “I hate this...shit.”

Bruce pulled his arm back to pillow his head better. “Sleep, Tony.”

****

Clint settled one of the discarded pillows against the wall next to the bedroom door that wasn’t closed. He sat down and shifted to make sure he was stable on the pillow. They were talking in low voices, but Clint could understand them since the door was open.

Stark was a pain sometimes, but he was a genius. He made the best weapons and told good jokes. Clint nodded to the butler as he came in on silent feet. The old guy raised an eyebrow and then stopped to listen to the talking.

The old guy winced slightly when Stark said he wasn’t worried about infecting Clint. He smiled up at the man and shook his head. Stark wasn’t saying that to be mean. Clint knew it came down to Stark knowing Clint sometimes had his own skin crawl. He’d told Stark about it while he picked him up from a cold bathtub and wrapped him in towels.

The voices stopped and the bed gave a slight squeak. The old guy stuck his head in and pulled back out again.

“Would you like anything, Master Barton?”

“More of that coffee would be good. Thanks.”

****

Bruce tried to sleep, but it wasn’t working. Tony was snoring lightly, so that was progress of sorts. Bruce slipped off the bed and went into the outer bedroom, grabbed up one of the stray pillows and settled near Clint on the floor.

“Don’t be mad at Stark.”

Frowning, Bruce scraped his hand across the stubble on his cheek. “Why would I be mad?”

“About the skin crawling thing.”

“Ah.” Bruce leaned back against the wall behind him and sighed. “Everyone has moments when what they say doesn’t sound like they mean it to.”

Clint nodded. “Stark has that a lot.”

“Babbling will do that, yes.”

With a snort, Clint extended one leg out straight. “Never thought I’d miss the babbling.”

“Or the touching.” Bruce stood and started pacing.

“People like Stark make connections other people wouldn’t. Everything is more interconnected for him. I’ve seen him go rigid from a kitchen sink running a trickle of water over my hand. It had nothing to do with his being captive, but something about it was enough to set off a connection in his head.” Clint stopped talking when Bruce stopped pacing.

“You want a blanket? It gets colder at night on the floor.” Bruce watched Clint watching him think about what had been said.

“Sure. Now go away.”

Bruce snorted and went.

****

Tony rubbed his eyes blearily and scooted his way out from under the quilt canopy. He found Clint sitting just outside the door on a pillow with his head leaned back to rest on the wall. He watched Clint’s muscles tense up as he woke. “Hey.”

“Hey. The Bat went out, so don’t be looking for him.”

Tony rubbed his hand across the top of his head. “Oh. I wonder if he blacked out the comm channel.”

Clint shrugged and stretched. Tony eased away, trying to make it seem like he wasn’t trying to avoid accidentally touching. Clint eyed him. “You can just move away. Don’t try to cover it just for me.”

“Practice.”

“Right.” Clint stood and motioned to the outer bedroom door. “Hungry?”

Tony’s stomach rumbled, but Tony didn’t feel like eating. “Not really.”

Clint went ahead of him to the door. “Sounds like your body wants you to eat.”

“Yeah.” Tony trailed his fingers along the wall as they moved down the hallway towards the central stairs. “Why did you stay?”

With a sigh, Clint leaned on the banister for the stairs. “You know my past, Stark. Think it through.”

Tony slowed as he went down the stairs. “Child abuse isn’t the same, but reactions to both overlap.”

Clint started down the stairs as Tony reached the bottom. “You’ve been researching?”

Tony shrugged with one shoulder as his other hand came up to cover the arc reactor. “After Obi I tried to work out just how much of what he’d been doing over the years was what other people would consider normal. Then this...happened.” He turned the corner into the kitchen and smirked at Alfred as he sat down a full plate at the breakfast bar. “I’m still not hungry.”

Clint settled on a stool at the other end leaving an empty seat between them. “You’ll eat though.”

Tony picked up his fork. “I know I have to eat, Barton.”

Clint nodded his thanks to Alfred as a plate was sat in front of him. “Don’t force the whole plate, Stark. Maybe a third of it and then wait to see if it’ll stay down.”

Tony blinked and turned to look at Clint while he chewed. “Thanks.”

Clint smiled. “Don’t strain something.” 

With a smile back, Tony dug into his food. Alfred disappeared, probably to make a call to Bruce and let him know Tony was eating.

****

Clint flipped channels as he lay sprawled on his stomach on Bruce’s bed. Tony was curled up under the quilt canopy tapping away at his phone.

“What do you know about asexuality?”

Clint left the TV on a cartoon and leaned over the edge of the bed to get a clear look at Tony. “You deciding you want to be asexual?”

Tony’s brow wrinkled as he glanced up. “What? No. No, I’m more pansexual. I meant in general.”

“Ah.” Clint moved back so they could each have their privacy because there was no way this wasn’t going to get awkward the further in they went. “I know some things. It is a crap label. People are way more fluid than any of the labels allow for.”

“Yeah.” Tony shifted and there was a thunk as his phone hit the baseboard of the wall. “I feel like I might have pushed an asexual person out of their comfort zone and they insisted I didn’t, but that isn’t stopping my brain from insisting it to me on repeat.”

“Hmm.” Clint went back to flipping channels to give his hand something to do. “How far out of their comfort zone are we talking?”

“Well, we tried a lot of stuff before deciding they were asexual. Then I couldn’t quit touching them.”

Clint frowned at the TV. “They tell you to stop and you didn’t quit?”

“What?” Tony shifted and there was a rustling of pillows. “No, no, no. I didn’t...no. He says I never hurt him.”

“Ah. He tell you that he didn’t want touched?”

“No, most of the time he doesn’t seem to mind. I just don’t want to be taking advantage of him.”

Clint stopped on the Weapons Channel because they were showing a history of bows. He’d seen it before, but it was still fun to watch. “You are both big idiots.”

Tony snorted. “Thanks. That’s helpful.”

“The Bat’s forcing himself not to touch you and you are forcing yourself not to touch him. I’ve been tempted to lock you both in the bathroom.”

“No.” Tony’s voice was hard, a warning.

Clint peeked over the side of the bed. “I’m not going to, Stark. Just tempted is all.” He pulled back and grinned as the TV showed the making of a modern recurve bow. “He looks lost.”

“Yeah.” Tony rolled over and his phone started making tapping noises again. “I’m not good for him.”

Clint pressed his lips together so he wouldn’t say the first thing that came to mind. “I didn’t mean that, Stark. He went from you being really touchy to not touching at all. And how often were you touching with sex on the brain?”

“I don’t know. A lot. I like sex.” Tony sighed hard and long. “I liked leaving marks, nothing permanent, but you know?”

Clint made a noise in his throat.

“Now I’ve got finger bruises coming up on my hips and I hate them. Only I wish he’d put them there instead. I was drugged helpless and all I can think about is if he liked sex I could erase it with good sex.” Tony threw his phone again. “I’m a selfish bastard.”

“You know having sex won’t make it better, Stark.” Clint stared at the TV and tried to work out how to help. “Does he like kissing? Or is he aromantic?”

“He’s romantic. Kissing is fine, just not really often.”

“Ask him if he’d give you a hickey where you can see it.”

Tony’s head appeared over the edge of the bed. “What? Why?”

Clint eyed him from the corner of his eye as the TV went to commercial. “It is something you can control, since you’ll ask for it. Something he can give you without bothering him too much. Plus, you can thumb it whenever you need reminding that he loves you.”

Tony scrambled out from under the quilt canopy. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you say in one conversation.”

Clint grabbed a pillow to throw, but then didn’t. He grinned as he got up to trail him. “Not all of us can babble like you, Stark.”

****

Bruce watched the shadowy outline of Tony as he quickly showered. Tony was shifting restlessly, but wasn’t pacing. Bruce stretched his back as the water washed the soap from his skin.

He stepped out of the water and shut off the shower. Toweling off, Bruce popped the shower door open an inch and peeked through it at Tony as he pulled on his robe. 

“You alright?”

Tony started and focused on him. “Fine. Well, more or less. I wanted to ask you something, but I don’t want to upset you. Or make you think you have to do this for me.”

Bruce used the tip of the robe’s sash to brush the back of one of Tony’s fidgeting hands. “Just ask.”

“Mark me.” Tony pushed into Bruce’s space, but didn’t touch him.

Blinking, Bruce stilled as Tony moved into the shower stall and closed the door.

“It isn’t some weird thing, well, maybe. I want to have something on my skin from you that isn’t... _theirs_.” Tony took a deep breath and turned on the water. He popped open the door and stuck his head out. “I’m not asking to make you uncomfortable. I just want...” He frowned and closed the door. “Nevermind.”

Bruce knocked his knuckles against the frosted glass wall. “I didn’t say no, Tony.” Tony’s hand appeared and splayed across the other side of the glass. Bruce matched his to it. “You’ll have to pick the spot.”

Bruce fled before Tony could startle him with something else.

****

Bruce sat on the end of the bed and let Tony approach him. “We could wait.”

Tony shook his head. “No. I want this. Now.” He sat down next to Bruce and moved closer. He pointed at the top of his right shoulder. “Here, okay?”

Bruce gently touched it with his fingertips and watched Tony shiver. “Only if it really is okay.”

Tony gave him a false smile and grabbed his hand. “I know I don’t look it, but I do want this. I want to be able to remind myself anytime I want that you still...want me. Like me for being me. Not as some dirty...”

Bruce turned his hand over and gripped Tony’s own from underneath. “Stop.”

Tony nodded and looked at him from the corner of his eye. “Please, Bruce.”

“Alright.” Bruce pulled in his left leg and tucked it so he could get Tony closer to him. “Remember we can stop.”

Tony huffed and pulled Bruce against his side. “Do it already.”

Bruce glared for a moment and then gently licked the spot Tony had chosen. Tony sighed and wiggled a little. Bruce brought his hand up to cup Tony’s chin as he kissed Tony’s shoulder. Then as Tony relaxed more, Bruce bit down.

Tony gave a grunt and threaded his hand through Bruce’s hair. He tugged Bruce tighter to him. Bruce tongued the skin between his teeth as he ground his jaw just enough to make sure the skin would bruise. Bruce sucked hard and felt Tony go limp in his arms, his hand tightening in Bruce’s hair.

“Harder, Bruce.” Tony panted as he pushed Bruce’s head away slightly, making him break contact. “Please.”

Bruce grinned at the slight strangled sound of Tony’s voice and pulled on Tony’s hold to get back to the reddened skin of Tony’s shoulder. He nipped several times before taking the skin back and sucking on it. He widened the edge towards Tony’s neck and then pulled back with one last kiss to the area. 

Tony was staring at him with slightly glazed eyes and breathing hard.

Bruce cupped Tony’s jaw again and smiled at him. “Good enough?”

Tony let his hand drop from the back of Bruce’s head and pressed on the forming hickey. “Great.” He smiled at Bruce and moved away slowly. “Thanks.”

Bruce leaned over the edge of the bed and picked up one of the pillows from the floor. He handed it to Tony, who put it to his stomach and wrapped his arms around it. “You don’t need to thank me, Tony.”

Tony smiled and reached for his discarded shirt. “Hmm. I want to do that again. Later.”

“Sure.” Bruce stood up. “I’m going to make sure Clint has enough bedding. I’ll be back in a minute.”

****

Bruce came back after arguing with Clint until he accepted a heavier blanket and just stood staring at Tony. He’d wrapped himself up in the quilt from the pillow fort and there was a mound of pillows in the middle of the bed, but he was under the covers on the far side. Tony’s normal side of the bed. Bruce smiled as he eased himself under the covers on the other side of the bed.

He reached over the pillow mound and brushed a wayward lock of hair from Tony’s forehead. They’d be fine eventually. Tony would be alright. Bruce would make sure of it.

****

**Author's Note:**

> Tony's reactions are based off of mine (just the reactions, not the circumstances). Although, I didn't get a pillow fort or a Bruce though. More's the pity.
> 
> Clint's reasoning for suggesting Tony ask for a mark is also based off of my reasoning from then as well. Bruce takes it much better than my boyfriend at the time did. Lots less name calling. 
> 
> This was very hard to write and has simpler sentences in places than I would normally use, but this is the closest I've ever come to portraying myself in a rape recovery character. It is also the first time I've written in the Avengers fandom. I hopefully got them down well enough for the small parts most of them play.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading.


End file.
